The Habit of the Judgmental Nature

Have these thoughts ever crossed your mind?  Or if you’re at all like me, some of them even come out of your mouth:  If she could be a bit more organized…  I’m sure she knows that’s a no-no on the dress code…  I probably would have done that differently.  It sure is hard when he acts like he knows EVERYTHING…  I can’t believe I just put that in my mouth.  Why can’t I have more self-control??  Oh, there were many others, all in the last week.  Just when I thought I had this judgmental nature and critical spirit under control, I realize that my heart still has a long way to go in this area.

The Habit

            About 15 years ago, the Lord first brought this habit to my attention.  You would think that’s plenty of time to have a heart change and be an expert grace giver and compassionate embracer.  I guess not.  When the Lord brought this topic to me a few days ago, I thought, I love this topic because after all the work the Lord has done in me regarding this, I really don’t have this problem anymore.

Imagine my surprise when in the days after writing preliminary ideas for this post, the Lord repeatedly brought my attention to every judgmental thought or word I spoke in the previous three days.  Oh. My. Goodness. I was completely wrong.  I still have a significant problem with this very sin.   

The Command

The Lord now has my full attention.  It is time for me to make a change.  1 Corinthians 4:4-5 says,

The Lord will do the judging when it is time.  He will expose all that needs to be shown, down to our deepest motives.  We don’t need to do the exposing!  Or the noticing of others’ or our own downfalls.  I would much rather the Lord be my judge because I know He is more compassionate, loving, and much more giving of grace than we tend to be with each other.  In fact, when He looks at us, if we are found in Christ, there is no condemnation (Romans 8:1).  [I wrote about this here.]

The Field Trip

Now that I think about it, I believe I have been on a “field trip” (I wrote about field trips in my last post- find it here).  You know, it is interesting how dense I can be sometimes.  This painful field trip experience began about 8 years ago.   It took writing this post to realize that I definitely do not have it all together when it comes to a judgmental heart.  It also took writing this post to realize that I have been on this field trip to get hands on experience about the devastating effects of judgement.  Lessons I learned in being judged:

1. Being judged hurts.  I was shunned and avoided by people that I thought were my friends.  My phone number was blocked by one.  A couple walked a different way to avoid running into me at church.  Girl weekends happened, but I was excluded.
2. Those who judged, definitely did not know all of the facts or both sides of the story- nor did they ask.
3. God may call you to do something that doesn’t seem to fit in that nice little box of our finite understanding.
4. I learned that it’s not my place to set the record straight.  I have to trust the Lord to do what He knows is best.  If He wants them to know the whole truth of the situation, He will make sure they know.
5. God knows the whole story, for each of us.  He knows the motives that drive us, and yet, tells us that there is no condemnation for those who dwell in Him (Romans 8:1).

The Promise

Let’s go back to our verse.  Did you notice the last sentence?  “At that time, each will receive their praise from God” (vs. 5).  Wait.  Receive our praise?  Not punishment, penalty, or a price we have to pay?  After he reveals our hidden darkness and our motives, we will then each receive our praise.  It boggles the mind.  If our God, who loves righteousness, truth, and perfection can look at all the ways I fall short, see every motive of my sinful heart, hear every thought of my critical and negative mind, can still love me and give grace, mercy, and praise, who am I to give anything less than these to my fellow sojourners. 

The Thing to Remember

When I am tempted to judge another, I must remember:

• I most likely don’t know all the facts or heard both sides of the story.
• Who am I to decide what God could or would call someone to do?  God does not want us to place Him in a box that only fits our limited understanding.
• It is not my job to judge the decision or action of another.  That belongs to God and God alone. 
• God has dealt with me with much love, grace and mercy.  Therefore, I am called to love others in this same way.  I am to give this gift to others, no matter how hard it might be.

We are in this together.  Let’s help each other, walk along-side each other and love each other on this dusty, difficult and, many times, distressing road of life.

The Prayer

Most Gracious Lord, you are a compassionate, loving God.  Even though you could write volumes about the ways I have failed you, you choose to look at me with love, mercy and grace.  Help me love others with this beautiful gift you have given to me.  Break this habit in me to scrutinize and criticize.  Forgive me for taking so long to learn this lesson, and for the future times I will still forget and do it again.  I long for the day I see Your face, and so desperately want to hear, “Well done, my good and faithful servant” (Matt. 25:23).