I love fall. It is my favorite season for many reasons. The changing colors of the leaves brings joy, cooler temperatures give us a respite from summer’s heat, and it ushers in the holiday season. The month of November is a month of reflection and gratitude. It is a time when we pause to ponder all the things and loved ones for which we are thankful. When the first cooler temperatures blow in for fall, it always takes me back to October 1997. A time of trial and the refining of my soul, for which I can now say that I am thankful.
Umm… what? I can hear you, now, “I’m supposed to consider the hell I am walking through, pure joy??” Don’t shut me out just yet. Hear my heart and the heart of a God who adores you.
The Refining of Metal
Have you ever stopped to think or learn about how precious metals are refined? Smelting is the process in which gold is separated from ore and other metals. The ore is first pulverized with extreme pressure to create tiny particles, which are then melted at almost 2000 degrees Fahrenheit. As the gold becomes molten, most of the impurities are burned up.
After smelting, it goes through a refining process. This process removes the finer impurities that smelting cannot remove. When the gold is molten, chlorine bubbles are introduced, which separates the pure gold from the dross. This waste product floats on top and is skimmed off, leaving behind even purer gold.
Making the Connection
Take a moment to think about that process. Does it sound like what you are going through or maybe what you have already been through? Pulverizing by extreme pressure? Melting by unfathomable heat? I know there have been several trials that I have lived through that made me feel that way. Losing my sweet 5-month-old, Kennedy, in 1997 was one of them. Is it fair to say that the refining process that we experience equals suffering? I think so.
The Purpose for Refining
The next part of James 1 gives us the reason to see difficult times as pure joy; because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (vs. 3-4).
Trials and the testing of our faith have a purpose. It produces perseverance so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking a single thing. Does that sound familiar? In my last post, I wrote about the meaning of the word, perfect in Matthew 5:48 and how the Greek translation of this word means mature and complete! (Read more here) As we walk through the trials that are pulverizing and burning our souls to the core, our impurities (or humanness/sin nature) are rising to the top to be skimmed off by the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), making us more like Jesus.
There have been and still are so many things that need to be purified in me. My need for perfection, my desire to please others, my need to have the approval of others, deep-seated anger, and many other sins and imperfections. Some, Jesus and I have conquered together. Some, we are still working on.
Results of Refining
One thing I know for sure is that, I would not know Jesus as intimately as I do, had it not been for experiencing the loss of a child. He became so real to me, did so many small and great things for me along the way, that my dependency upon Him was no longer a distant thought or mystery. It was a fall into His arms in desperation kind of faith. During that time, I remember praying to learn everything He wanted me to, so my suffering would not be extended longer than necessary and my suffering would not be in vain. Does that need to be your prayer right now?
Clinging Through the Refining
Sometimes as we stumble in the path of a trial, we need to have something to cling to, something that will get us through the darkest hours. I love Romans 8:18, I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Oh, sweet friend, what we have to look forward to is incomparable to anything we have ever or will ever know on this earth. We can’t even fathom it. And it will be revealed in us!
Recognizing the Good from Refining
When our world is darkened by hurt and sadness, pain and suffering, it is hard to see beyond the end of our nose. When that is the case, cling, with all your might, to the One who holds your future, your perfection, and your healing. It is a choice. A hard one, for sure, but a choice, nonetheless. Go back and look at James 1:4. Did you see that little word at the beginning of that sentence? Say it with me out loud. Let. Let perseverance finish its work (James 1:4). Are you willing? Ask Him to show you all you need to know as a result of walking through this suffering, and don’t let it be in vain.
Because of all He taught me, and because of Who He became to me during the loss and time of grief, I can now be thankful for having walked that trial. It took me several years to get to the point where I could recognize and acknowledge the good that came from it, but now, I wouldn’t trade it.
A Prayer of Thanks
Thank you, Jesus, for letting me be her mom. Thank you for loving me so much, that You would allow a deeply broken heart to draw me to Your side and deepen and strengthen my faith. Thank you for holding me, carrying me, and providing for my every need during those dark and agonizing days. You are good. You love me and want the best for me. I acknowledge this and I am so very thankful. Amen
Be blessed.