Have you had anyone in your life that no matter how hard you tried, you could never earn their grace or measure up in their eyes? You could bend over backwards to do things for them, yet it would never be enough. For most of my years, I have experienced this with a couple of close family members. That is a long time to strive for something and not receive the peace of achievement. Maybe you have found yourself striving to be good enough to be acceptable to God. Then you berate yourself inexhaustibly because, in your eyes, you frequently mess up. If any of this describes you today, give yourself permission to lay this burden down once and for all. Once again, we are looking at grace. The grace that God offers gives us freedom and life.
By Grace
In Ephesians 2:8, Paul tells us that it is by grace we are saved. What is grace? It is the “state of kindness and favor toward someone, blessing” (Goodrick & Kohlenburger, 1999). When God shows us His grace, He is demonstrating His favor and blessing upon us. This is such a beautiful idea. Because of Jesus’ willingness to sacrifice himself, the debt for our sin was paid in full. When we choose to accept this, God’s wrath no longer has a place in our lives and grace takes over.
It’s Not About Perfection
I don’t know about you, but one of the by-products of never feeling like I measured up was to gradually put more and more pressure on myself to be perfect. Having to finish tasks perfectly was important. Making perfect decisions by over-analyzing every single situation was a must. I put much pressure on myself to always respond to others perfectly, which stunted my ability to communicate effectively. I mean, what if I said the wrong thing and made the situation worse?
The verse in Matthew 5 even says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (vs. 48). Does He really mean for us to be perfect? In the Greek, the word perfect means finished or mature (Goodrick & Kohlenburger, 1999). Mature is much different than what we know the meaning of perfect to be, which is beyond improvement or entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings (Dictionary.com, 2018). To be mature means to be fully developed. What freedom we find in the knowledge that these are very different ideas.
Through Faith
The next part of the verse states that our saving by grace comes through faith, which is belief and trust. What are we trusting or believing? God loves you. That’s it. Sit with that a moment. Grace makes it not about our behavior but about our hearts. He wants your heart. Completely, entirely, and without reservation. Have you surrendered yours to Him? If we are going to give our hearts to someone or something, wouldn’t it make sense to give it to the One who created it? The One who will love and care for it the best?
This definitely takes belief and trust. We so easily look for approval from and trust our hearts to those who might break or reject them. We try to find that missing fulfillment in material things, our children, food, or maybe even in our work. These will never satisfy the deep longings of our souls. Only His love, which we accept and depend on through faith.
It is a Gift
Grace is a gift from the Lord. That means we can’t earn it (2 Timothy 1:9). No matter what we have done in our lives, or choices we have made can change the way God feels or thinks about us.
We can never do enough good things to earn God’s favor. On the same token, we can never make too many mistakes that would cause God to love us less or remove His love. This is because His love and grace are not dependent upon who we are, but on who He is and what He did on the cross. Therefore, grace is the beautiful gift He offers.
One final thought about grace as a gift. When someone gives you a gift, what do you say? How much do I owe you? Of course not. We feel honored and say thank you. This makes me wonder why we live our lives working so hard to win His approval and trying to be good enough in our own strength as if to be worthy enough for the gift. Instead, let’s praise Him and have hearts full of gratitude.
Grace Gives Freedom
Oh, this knowledge brings sweet relief to my soul. As a child, not only did I develop this habit of expecting perfection of myself, but also, as I grew into an adult, I subconsciously put this burden on others. It infiltrated every area of my life as a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, and friend. It put a strain on many of my relationships.
About 10 years ago, the Lord began to show me my tendency toward perfection as a chain of bondage. He is still working to give me freedom from trying to earn grace. He continually and patiently reminds me that I don’t have to earn His acceptance or His love.
Sweet friend, you were created to be loved. You were created to live in relationship with a Father who is perfect love. You don’t have to prove anything to Him. His favor and grace rests on you already. Ask Him to give you eyes to see it, the ability to live in the freedom that grace brings, and the heart to praise Him in gratitude for it.
Be blessed.
Reference
Goodrick, E.W. & Kohlenburger, J.R. (1999). NIV Exhaustive Concordance (2nd ed.). Grand
Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing Co.
Perfect. (2018). In Dictionary.com online. Retrieved from
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/perfect