Fear. It can grip your heart, cloud your mind, and paralyze your steps. It will rob you of your joy, allow discouragement to settle in your heart, and can keep you from the abundant life God desires for you. This month we have studied how to live abundantly and looked at the obstacles we allow in our lives that keep us from enjoying life the way God intended.
The presence of fear means our focus is on the crisis instead of Jesus. He is sovereign and in control. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgement. This is not a suggestion. It is a command that He gives us the power to live out. How does He instill this power?
He Prepares
It was the evening of Friday, June 13, 1997. I was changing the diaper of 3-week-old Kennedy Claire and thought it was somewhat odd that I did not have to pull her little leg back in order to fasten the tape. Not being a mother who over-reacted, I thought to myself, “I’ll watch over her this next week and see how she does.”
After a crazy, busy week of teaching VBS, while changing her diaper the very next Friday evening, I noticed the same strange thing. It was then that I realized I had forgotten to watch her all week. So, now here it was, Friday night, and the doctor’s office would be closed until Monday. As I began to process this, fear and dread gripped my heart. In the deepest recesses of my soul, I knew something was horribly wrong with my baby girl, and there was absolutely nothing I could do but wait for Monday.
The tears flowed instantly and constantly for the next 48 hours. By Sunday evening, I was completely worn out and depleted. Finally, on Sunday evening, I called our pastor and asked him to pray for baby Kennedy and to pray peace for me. I know he and his wife prayed right away because the Lord’s peace came over me like a soothing balm, and I was able to rest.
A Promise
The next morning, I was up, staring at the clock, waiting for 8:30 so I could call to make an appointment. I drove in a complete daze, but at one point, I heard the chorus of a song I had never heard before; Greg Long’s “You’ll Get Through This.”
You’ll get through this
You’ll break new ground
When you’re lost within your weakness
Hope is waiting to be found
You’ll get through this
No matter what it takes
I believe in you for Heaven’s sake
You’ll get through this
When doubt starts tearing
At the faith deep in you
Don’t be afraid
Just remember what I said
Nothing formed against you will succeed
As long as your heart’s turned towards me
Clinging to the Promise
The Lord gave me a beautiful promise right before I walked into the storm. After two weeks of testing and a transfer to Scottish Rite Hospital in Dallas, we got a diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which came with a 2-year prognosis. In the following months, I would cling to the promise, and tried to keep my heart focused on Jesus.
In addition to giving me the promise, the Lord brought to mind so many life lessons He had taught me in the 6 years of being a mother to Morgan. One was that He loves her more than I could ever love her because He created her. Another truth was that He would give me what I needed to walk victoriously through the waves of any trial. A third truth, everything, even the most difficult things would work for the good. As all of these came to me, I realized how God had prepared me, ahead of time, to walk through this very storm. In that moment, I felt so loved by Him. He knew what was coming, and He took 6 years to prepare me.
He Protects
I love the picture that Psalm 139:5 paints, “You hem me in- behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.” The word, hem, in Hebrew means to besiege, or surround (Goodrick & Kohlenburger, 1999). At first glance, this seems to be a military term that suggests the presence of battle. However, in the context of Psalm 139, the idea of protection and familiarity shines through. I picture God taking His hands and cupping them around me in order to protect. Isaiah 43 also gives us a beautiful promise and reminder of just how much we are loved by God:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, (vs. 1b-4a).
Linger on the first line. “I have summoned you by name; you are mine” (vs. 1b). Beautiful. This brings much comfort to my soul. Next, it says, when you pass through the rivers/ waters (aka trials). When you walk through the fire. Notice it does not say if you ever happen to. We will experience many hard and trying times throughout our lives. The beauty is in the promises that follow; the water will not sweep over you, and you will not be burned. This means, we will not be lost or completely defeated as we go through them.
Joy in the Midst
When we keep our focus on Jesus while we walk the road of hardship, He helps us to see the many blessings He gives along the way. With Kennedy, we spent many long weeks in the hospital, here at East Texas Medical Center and in Dallas at The Scottish Rite Hospital. To be nominated to go to Scottish Rite is a huge honor. We never saw a bill for any of the care we received from either hospital. There were people working on our behalf, without our knowledge in both hospitals. These were huge gifts the Lord gave to us.
There were many little things during that time, as well. Once, we were wanting to take Morgan to eat at a fun kid friendly restaurant so the three of us could spend some time together. We were in a long line just to get on the list to be seated. The people in front of us were told that it would be a 45 min to an hour wait. When we stepped up to the podium, the hostess picked up 3 menus and said, “We can seat you right now.” I couldn’t believe it. I knew that was God taking care of our fragile hearts, and it brought me joy in the midst of my grief and deep pain.
Suffering is Inevitable
Girls, let’s just face it. We are going to experience heartache. There is no way around it because we live in a fallen, sinful world. After all, God allowed Jesus to suffer a horrific death. What makes me think I shouldn’t suffer while I live on this earth too? Instead of asking, “Why me?” maybe we should ask, “Why not me?” If Jesus suffered, who am I to fear suffering?
Can you live abundantly, without fear, even when you face scary, difficult times in your life? You bet you can. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it be painful and at times feel like it is more than you can bear? Yes. Will it be ugly? Most likely. Keep your eyes on Him, even when the focus is blurred by your tears. The beauty in the ashes is, He will prepare you, He will hem you in and protect you, and He will give you reason to have joy in the midst of your suffering. Trust Him.
If you’d like to hear Greg Long’s “You’ll Get Through This” click (here)
Be blessed.
Reference
Goodrick, E.W. & Kohlenburger, J.R. (1999). NIV Exhaustive Concordance (2nd ed.). Grand
Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing Co.